"center" "balance"

These things do not exist. They are created to torture women who are working full time and trying to be the best mothers, wives, sisters, and friends that they can be. There is no way to balance that. There is still peer pressure-as a grown up. Does my child feel neglected because I do not drive them everywhere they think they want to go. That I actually expect them to (gasp!) ride a bike, or find a way on their own. Hard to do when there are mothers who will jump in the car all hours of the day to drive them anywhere. It makes me feel like a lazy mother. Sometimes I am (my house is a funky mess)but most times I am not. I do the hard stuff. So up yours balanced people.

Monday--Going to Washington D.C. to lobby for mental healthcare transformation. I am nervous, and excited. I have never been to D.C. and I really need to make a plan to see what I am going to get into. Going to Chicago shortly after, to meet up with my family (who will start their vacation before I even get back from Chicago!). Exciting times. Praying for safety, for sure.

I had a wonderful dinner with a good friend last night. We ended up talking to our waiter, who is about to start his first position as an associate pastor in Ohio. We talked about scripture, Abraham, and the prophesy that continues to reveal itself everyday. It was a great way to end this week.

Life is good.

responsibility

Responsibility is over-rated. I have chosen to add a multi-million dollar budget and sixty employees to my already full o'worries dish. Somedays, I am clearly in over my head. Sometimes, I am loving every minute of it. It is my most favorite job thus far. I just keep dreaming the dream and carrying the hope for other people. Instead of "I think I can", I chant "We make a difference, we make a difference..." Otherwise, what is the point?

I am thankful for my husband. He does laundry simply because he sees that it needs to be done. He will clean the kitchen for the same reason. He keeps our house running and makes me smile in the middle of the day. He called me at work this week, he knew I was struggling. He also knew that I would start crying if I continued to talk, so he just held the silence for me. Sigh. I almost missed my chance with him way back when. God is so good.

P.S.

I wish I could plan a trip to Vegas. But our next vacation has to be a family one, and the kids really want to go to Disney World. We can go to Vegas when the kids are grown, right? :)

Fun Day!

KJ is going to get his head shots taken, and is practicing his monologue for his summer production try-outs. I am hoping her gets a spot on "The Wiz" or an extra in one of the Starlight poduction. Whatever makes him happy and motivated, I am grateful. So far he is very motivated, got a hair cut, is up at 8am on a Saturday ironing clothes. Woohoo!

Today is Anna's tenth birthday!!! Two digits, as she says. Man, time flies. She has been having a really hard time of it lately. We have to go sign her up for a different therapy Monday. It is a lot to keep up with, and I know you are not supposed to say this as a Mom, but she is really getting on my nerves. I had to cancel her birthday party due to her behavior, which is heartbreaking. However, we could not reward the behaviors she has had at school and home recently.

On the work side, I am having a ball. It is a very difficult job, with a lot of stressors. But I have the freedom to make changes as I desire. I am completely in charge of my 3mil budget to make changes, and my supervisor is truly not a micro-manager. I am working on changing our psychosocial program. The one we have now is the same structure as the one that I started out with 13-14 years ago. Times have changed across the nation since then, we are just very behind. Not for long!! God has been preparing me for this job forever. I can feel it, and the confidence of his guidance and love every step of the way.

George is working to change the mileau at the children's hospital, to a more recovery based program. He is trying to make sure that kids learn skills to use outside of the hospital, to not just prescribe meds and kick them out. Yay George! I am so proud of him.

That's all I know for now. It is spring and life is good.

wonderful

Can you believe how wonderful God is? I think about all of my blessings, and how my experiences have all connected together to mold me. Wonderful friendships and people showing up at 'just the right time'. The disappointments of the time: Jobs that I did not get (Thank you God), Boyfriends I did not keep (Hallelujah!), Places that I did not continue to live in (Hello Detroit?!), Wrong things that I did not do to hurt someone else (but really, really wanted to). Thank you God. For being right on time, in just the right place, all the time and loving head to toe. We truly do not deserve you.

craigslist

I had to buy a new phone for work, so selling the phone I am replacing. So, I put the ad on craigslist. Freaky people answer ads on craigslist. One person seems sincere. So we are going to meet him tomorrow. We shall see...