PS I love you.

Okay. I watched this movie today, for the second time today. I BAWLED. To the point where I had to start wondering, what else is going on here? What was impressed upon me is that I am not living in a way that honors everyone that I am. I believe that I have the career and husband and children that I want. I have friends that I love. I haven't loved myself. Not really. I think I am cute. But the bigger my ass gets, the more I realize how insecure I am. Today I am focusing on expressing myself in an effort to strengthen connections and liveby. This is why I have renamed my blog from Disconnetion to Connection. The words you put out there come back to you right?

I just googled myself and found this great poem instead.

About Me: Dionne-Etta Mitchell

Isolation

Uncontrollable silence piercing my soul; leaving my dreams and goals incomplete. I am feeling all of the weight of the world on my shoulders, failing to live up to everyone's expectations of me; Feeling as if I let everyone down. A never-ending state of daze and confusion; leaving me asking that infamous question: "What if?" You know that question we ask ourselves: "What if I had done this?" or "What if I had done that?"

My mind races a thousand miles a minute; always remembering past mistakes, screw ups, and foul ups. Constantly thinking if I try something new, I may find a way to screw that up too. My mind draws a complete blank to the point I begin to zone and space out to a wonder-less world of dreamless sleep; completely fading to black. Insomnia becomes my new best friend waking up in the middle of the night; staring either into the endless sky out the window, or staring blankly into the TV night after night. This isolation has me feeling as if at times that I'm suffocating; and other times so angry that I can scream, but no one hears me. Feeling as if I'm losing control and mad that I want to throw up my hands and just give up. Somehow even with this isolation that I'm feeling, and the tears I've shed, the anger and frustration I'm feeling still leaves me with the hope that I can accomplish my dreams, and to break the chains of loneliness and isolation. So how does one break the chains of isolation? In order to overcome isolation, one must have faith and believe. Never to give up! Find strength deep within yourself and believe that there is a greater power that wants you to succeed. Most importantly to help you understand that you have a purpose and plan for your life; A legacy to uphold to be an example and role model for future generations to pass on the torch! Control isolation. Don't let it control you! fully.


I love it!